Baby Tricks

He rolled over for the first time and I can feel a little tooth in his mouth! What happened? Don't do  this to me. It's such a weird feeling of pride and sadness and anxiety all at the same time.

Almost Home

I have 5 days left of being a working mom! After that we're going to try to let me stay at home. I'm excited. I am also a little sad to leave my school and the people there. I know it will be a little challenging to be with baby all day long again, but I am ready. My mom was always there for me when I was little, and it really did mean a lot to know she would always be home when I got home from school, that I could always call her if I forgot something, and that she was a constant in our home. I want to be like that too.

Last night on our drive home from a family dinner we decided to try to list everything we are thankful for and have been blessed with. It was a long list, and it was nice to do it together. I couldn't complain about anything after that. Even something so simple as owning a working refrigerator and freezer is such a blessing! Or what about electricity that hardly ever goes out? Or even more simple: I have working legs so I can walk without even thinking about what I'm doing.

Lately I really have been noticing all these little (and there are some big ones too) things that we have in abundance. Working and being a mom has been stressful and hard and some days I want to come home and cry. But it's weird, because I can't cry when I realize I'm still happy underneath all the frustration and non-working car and sick baby and mean parents on the phone. I still have it all, really!

Heavenly Father has blessed us to get through all the minor challenges of life that seem to pop up incessantly lately. I am grateful that all of these recent challenges are more annoying and inconvenient than they are harmful or long-lasting. I want to write down a few of these recent things so I don't forget them:

 March or April-trying to get check engine light to go off to get it registered.

May-our anniversary day! Trying to stay positive.

• Our car has been giving us trouble since February. First, it took forever to fix a silly oxygen sensor so that our car would pass inspection so we could register it again. Then, right after it was newly registered and I started going back to work (remember I have to drive 50 minutes to and from work), our car would not accelerate fast enough or high enough. I've spent many times on the road with the pedal to the metal and my emergency flashers on, goint 35 mph up a hill in a 65 mph zone. We spent our anniversary day trying to fix a belt on the car that didn't really get fixed and that wasn't really the problem. We've also replaced the water pump, timing belt, 4 spark plugs, and who knows what else and gone to at least 3 different mechanics. But it's ok. My parents let us borrow cars when we needed to, we have neighbors who offered a car too, we were saved from a drunk mechanic and found a much cheaper and better one as a result, and although it's been a nightmare in a way, I have noticed how aware our Father in Heaven really is of us. We are ok, even though our car is still not fixed. It's frustrating and a little expensive, but not too harmful in any lasting way. We are blessed to have money saved up for times like these. We are truly blessed.
• At the same time, my baby got sick. He had a cold. He then passed it on to us. It wasn't fun, but I felt blessed to find out that my sore throat was not strep and my cough was not pertussis. I was able to keep working, and no lasting harm persists. More frustrating and tiring than anything. We are truly blessed to have our health.
• I also had a little bit of a hard time with my self esteem going back to work. My leave of absence did hurt my relationship with some of the kids at my school. It shouldn't matter, as long as they have somebody they can talk to, but it kind of hurt my feelings to know that kids I had been seeing in my office were now choosing the other counselor. I also got yelled at by parents on the phone (my least favorite part of my job), and I'm pretty sure one of the teachers hated me. All of these things got me down a few times. But I have other friends and other kids needed me and I am ok. I am truly blessed.

The most amazing thing about all of these recent trials is that it wasn't too hard to stay positive! I think I am actually changing! I've been focusing on trying to be positive this year, and it's actually working. My thoughts were quickly changed to how much I did have in these times. I didn't wallow in self pity or sadness. Sure, I got annoyed and frustrated and sad, but I was much more easily able to let it go. I think I'm improving! 

I am truly blessed.