Our Love Story~~31 Flavors and Finding My Motivation

As soon as I began going on dates, I started keeping a list of every guy I ever went out with. I once heard somewhere that, just like Baskin Robbins has "31 flavors" of ice cream, and you don't know which is your favorite flavor until you have tried them all, you have to try out a bunch of different guys before you know who you want to marry. I knew I didn't want to date any one person seriously until I was ready to get married, and this "31 Flavors" list was a way to motivate me to say yes to dates even when I maybe wanted to stay home or wasn't all that excited about the guy. Because I was so open to dating many different people I had a lot of fun and interesting dating experiences, and I did learn a lot about what I wanted in a husband. I didn't even make it to 31 names on my list by the time I got married, and I didn't only go on dates to get names on the list (I actually liked some of the boys who asked me, yes, I'm not just a crazy list maker), but I think the idea worked for me to get me out of my comfort zone and learn a whole lot about other people and myself. 

So, I was having a dilemma around the time that I met Danny. My father's blessing at the beginning of the school year had said I would know which of my friends, new or old, to marry. Despite having my 31 Flavors list, I hadn't really dated anyone for about a year. When my high school friends left on missions I was left behind and didn't really know how to get to know new, returned missionary guys. Instead I wrote letters to 16 missionaries--some only one or two letters, others every month. I was kind of stuck in limbo. Here, let my journal explain:

October 18, 2009
Life has been kind of hard lately. . . I have a few good friends, and my roommates are great, but everyone is busy with school and has their own things going on. I often feel lonely, and I don't like that. I know I should try to make more friends in the ward, and I would like to, but I don't know how. I honestly don't. . . . So, lately I have been missing high school and anxiously waiting for my missionary friends to get back. But then! Do I really want them to come back and have me feeling like I got nowhere in those 2 years? I want other friends. I would like to go on dates. I would like to make my own fun. But it's hard. . . .

. . . After ward prayer I ran into Danny from apartment #20 and had a good conversation with him. It was like we were friends. I needed the confidence that conversation gave me. I can meet new people and I can make new friends. . . .

. . . .I have some friends and roommates, and they are great, so why can't I be content with that? And I think the answer is a scary but simple one: I need more than roommates and friends; I want to have relationships that will prepare me for and ultimately lead to marriage. I am lonely in  that way. . . .

I cut a lot out, so it's a little disconnected there, but you get the idea. Thus began my motivation to meet new people and date. It was like the 31 Flavors were suddenly called back into action! I made a list of every guy that had potential and I didn't back down from the awkward conversations, flirting failures, and not-so-promising dates. I also paid a little more attention to how I presented myself, and that helped me get noticed and have confidence. It's really kind of amazing looking back and all the little pieces that led up to me being ready to date Danny and get married. It definitely was a process.