How One BYU Devotional Changed My Life

January 13, 2009 was a significant day in my life, though it was an average Tuesday for most of the rest of the world. On this day, thoughts and feelings that had been building for years came to a head, and I remember feeling like I was battling myself inside. I had two big questions on my mind with no answers and only confusion.

One question was about my past.

One concerned my future.

I won't go into details about the past question, as it is personal and quite complicated (as the past usually is) and would take a lot of time to explain. My future question was pretty straightforward: "Should I serve a full-time LDS mission, or is there something else I am supposed to do on earth right now?"

I remember focusing on my future question and heading out to watch the BYU devotional that day hoping for some answers. I walked up to campus by myself and sat down in an auditorium where they were broadcasting the devotional. As I listened, surrounded by strangers, I began to cry as I looked up at the projected image of Elder Jeffrey R. Holland and felt like he was speaking only to me. I knew I was getting answers instead to the question about my past, and I just wanted to soak it all in. I had brought paper to take notes, but I sat and listened instead.  I looked at Elder Holland and paid attention to the emotion and feelings I was having. It was a very enlightening, humbling, and spiritual experience that really did change my life.

The rest of the day I put homework aside and prayed and studied conference talks, scriptures, and other doctrine concerning my past question. I called my dad and counseled with him as well. I wrote a lot of my thoughts and feelings down in my journal. I haven't often searched and pondered so hard for an answer to anything in my life.

Slowly, piece by piece, my mind became clear as to how I should view this question, the answers to parts of it, and the things I should do now because of it. It was like light slowly and suddenly coming at the same time all throughout that day. My past question answers lead to answers to my future question, and I continued to study and pray the next day until I had a solid, clear, unmistakable, (and surprising!) direction to take and peace in my heart and mind.

This experience with revelation from God through the words of his latter-day apostle truly changed the direction of my life and strengthened my faith. I felt like I should go to school in the fall, which lead to meeting my husband, which lead to so much happiness and rightness, a marriage, a baby, and continued adventures that I feel so blessed to have. I was reminded of this experience this past weekend, and felt like I wanted to share it.

"Remember Lot's Wife" by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland has become a somewhat famous and beloved message for many. I feel privileged that I was able to be there on the day he spoke those words and feel like they were just for me, although I know they have helped thousands. You should listen to it if you haven't.


Also, "The Spirit of Revelation" by Elder David A. Bednar describes the way receiving revelation is like light coming into our minds and hearts. This is how I felt on January 13, 2009. I had been in darkness for so long concerning my question, and light and answers slowly filled my soul with peace. If you haven't read it, you should.

I know prayers are answered. Answers are out there if we are patient and keep asking questions. Light can fill your heart and mind too.

3 Nephi 18:20 "And whatsoever ye shall ask the Father in my name, which is right, believing that ye shall receive, behold it shall be given unto you."