I've read so many stories about babies dying and stillbirths and miscarriage, trying to understand and figure out this whole experience and what to do now. It helps and it doesn't. It's hard comparing my experience to those of others, because each is so so different. I've read about the signs people find of their children, visits from angels, and other such moments. I'd love to have something huge like that, but I don't expect it. However, I do have moments full of Sadie. I've learned that Heavenly Father truly does give us miracles and moments of mercy if we open our eyes, search for them, and accept them.
- The sky cleared and the sun came out as we had her little graveside service in the cemetery.
- A rainbow crossed the sky as I drove home from the Angel Gowns dress drop off.
- Ladybugs have randomly shown up, even in the middle of winter, reminding me of Sadie. I have never noticed so many ladybugs before in my life.
- A dream that still doesn't quite make sense and that would seem weird to anyone else brought me such a feeling of peace one night.
- Moments inside the temple, the holy House of the Lord, have been so very indicative of Sadie's presence and God's awareness of my missing her.
- Thoughtful gifts from family and friends have shown up at just the right times to help me to feel close to my daughter too.
The quote above is so very true. I will forever be looking and searching for my daughter, even if only in the moments God gives me that remind me of her.
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