I feel weird writing on this blog these days. My sunshine finder still works, but a light has gone out of me with the death of my daughter. There is nothing simple about spreading sunshine right now. I am happy, mostly, but I wouldn't call it being filled with sunshine. I see the rays of sun through the clouds, but, well, something seems off.
Nevertheless, this is where I can write. So I shall.
I have a secret Pinterest board where I like to put quotes and thoughts that help me through this time of missing my Sadie. I don't really know if anyone looks at this blog, so it seems like a somewhat safe place to put some of these secret pictures out there. I don't really want them to be secret, but I don't want to bother other people by thrusting my grief on them constantly. They know what happened, they probably know it's still hard for me, and I don't really feel like reminding constantly. Although, I think about it often. I'm not ashamed of my grief, but I still do want to bring sunshine to others' lives. I want to be happy myself. So I don't put it out there all the time. I hope that makes sense.
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