Traditions

While studying marriage and family studies in my undergraduate classes, I attended a few lectures on family traditions. Before this time, I had never thought about being intentional or picky about which traditions to continue in a family. Growing up, it always seemed like my family just did what we thought was fun year after year, but when I actually stopped to think about it each tradition changed our family--either adding to it (usually) or taking something away--and I bet my parents thought about it more than we (the kids) did.

In my own little family now I have been in a hurry to create meaningful traditions...too much of I hurry, I am realizing. I have only been married for 2 years. Traditions really do take some time to evolve and stick.

Failed tradition example: Our first married summer we tried to start an annual "Guatemala Day" celebration. We decided it would be every year in June. During this day we would do things they do in Guatemala and things that my husband picked up from his L.D.S. mission  there. Observe our first "annual" Guatemala Day as illustrated by the pictures below:

Not smiling, because they don't smile in pictures there usually.

That picture was painted by a Guatemalan man my husband met on his mission.

Reading the Book of Mormon in Spanish.

We were excited to try this Guatemalan restaurant.

picked up some treats at the latin supermarket

Making fried plantains.

You eat them with sugar and sour cream.

It was really fun to learn a little more about the place my husband spent two years serving. We both thought the day was great!

So, the first annual Guatemala Day was a success! So successful that we have not felt the need to recreate it yet. Two Junes have gone by, and Guatemala Day is but a fond and distant memory.

I felt guilty about this at first. I had learned that traditions are so important, but I couldn't even keep one going in my own family! I brought it up a few times with my husband, but neither of us could get very excited about doing another Guatemala Day. It just never happened again.

Then, a week or so ago, we decided to spend our Labor Day up in the mountains roasting hot dogs and making s'mores at our favorite spot up the canyon. I got to thinking about the past times we had been up to this particular spot to do the exact same thing and suddenly realized...hey! We have a tradition! Woohoo! 

This year was the 4th summer in a row that we have gone up this same canyon to the same spot to do the same thing. Just because we want to! It's not planned out every year, it's not hard, it's not painful, and it really does add to our marriage and family. Ladies and gentlemen, WE HAVE A TRADITION!

Our second year up the canyon...this was actually part of our Guatemala Day. haha!

Our 4th year! 

After this experience I got to thinking about some of the other traditions we do have: gone to the state fair 3 years now, birthday presents scattered throughout the day, getting frozen yogurt as a treat, Sunday dinners with extended family, Halloween sugar cookies every year, and on and on. I feel a stronger family identity when I think about these things we choose to continue. And I feel happy and excited about each of these things, because we WANT to continue them...we don't just do them because we feel like we HAVE to. In my college classes I remember learning that family traditions can come and go and evolve and change just as families do. This is healthy. To force a tradition or continue one solely for tradition's sake can be detrimental and unhelpful. We still get to choose what we do, even if something is "tradition." (With little children I expect that some traditions will be continued for their sake, and maybe not because my husband and I love to do them. But that's ok too. As long as there is some enjoyment or benefit to our family the tradition is worth it in my eyes.)

As our family ages and grows I hope we do create and continue many fun traditions. I'm big on having something to look forward to and hope for, and traditions do exactly that. I am so glad we have a few already! I fully expect them to change as we change, and that's ok. Who knows? Maybe Guatemala Day will even have an amazing comeback in the future....just not any time soon. :)